Betsey

October, 2008

**Betsey is my test, I know that.  I have always believed in Sparrow House, and Betsey is my first official client- – for that reason alone, I give her a lot of slack.

 

I was unprepared for the responsibility.  Due to emotional and physical abuse, she pretty much ended up homeless with her young son, but never-the-less, I loved and gave all that had to help her succeed, I simply failed in my misguided attempts to do for her what I wish had been done for my mother.  She may or may not see it this way, the road has been long and I have grown weary.  Not only weary of Betsey, but of my own life and dreams.  Life is hard – - even when you throw your heart into something you know you were destined to do.

 

Betsey is strong, but that only makes it more difficult.  She is stubborn and often refuses help.  She is resistant to my (and others) opinions, because she is self-sufficient and doesn’t see the need for charity.  She, and those around her, suffer because of it – - and I can do nothing.

 

You just can’t change people.  I can bring the sparrows to the tree – but I can’t force them to fly.  They have to evaluate their own strengths and weaknesses and deal with them as they see fit.  I can’t do it for them.

 

Tough lesson for me, but a valuable one.  I guess only time will tell her story….

December, 2009

With everything said and done since I met Betsey in person, July 2007, as far as I know she is completly self-sufficient at this point, although I still worry greatly about her son.  They both have a special place in my heart – but for Betsey, the honesty of the situation became a little difficult to tolerate – and parenting skills was totally an unapproachable topic.  She will no longer talk to me, despite numerous attempts to stay in touch with her.

She is dating now and lives in her own house.  She recently bought a used car and is no longer housebound, which was my biggest concern in regards to her son.  Isolation is expected, but not encouraged – it is my belief that children need interaction with other children, not just a parent.  He has been homeschooled except for the few months I convinced her into enrolling him in public education and since they live in the country – he has absolutely no reinforcing outlet for any of the emotions he may be experiencing.  All I can do is pray.  Maybe that is my lesson from Betsey – learning when to let go and accepting the things I can not change.  The serenity prayer is serving me well.

*all names have been changed to protect the identies of the women using Sparrow House services.